Written by: GiAnna Biondi
Edited by: Benjamin Hewitt
As humans, we all strive for important connections with other individuals. We are wired to mix and mingle with one another, establishing close bonds and wanting the ability to hold on to beneficial relationships. However, this is a struggle for many around the world, and it is crucial to recognize one of the key psychological factors that shape us - attachment.
Attachment begins in our early childhood, between one and two years old. There are four main attachment styles that are defined in our childhood: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized. A Secure attachment style is developed when a mother has established a great connection with her baby, tends to their needs, and provides adequate parenting. Those with this type of attachment style are prone to having a more favorable outcome in their later life (Flaherty, 2011). Individuals with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), such as physical/sexual abuse and neglect, could lead to an insecure attachment style (Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized). About 40% of individuals report having an insecure attachment style (Shaver et al, 1987). Attachment plays a significant role within the future of an individual.
Those who develop the Anxious attachment style are more likely to struggle with security in their relationships. They often want to feel close with their partners and/or companions, and are misguided by low self-esteem, mistrust, and fears of abandonment. One with an Anxious attachment style may ask for constant reassurance, may overthink the behavior of another individual, or may overreact in small conflicts (Campell et al, 2010).
With an Avoidant attachment style, an individual strives for self-driven commitments. They are extremely independent, struggle with intimacy, suppress their feelings, and tend to push others away. Those with this type of attachment style may feel as if they are being ‘suffocated’ when establishing some kind of connection with another individual (Li et al, 2012).
As for a disorganized attachment style, an individual may have unpredictable behavior. For example, one with this attachment style may seek out a romantic relationship with a partner. However, this individual may lash out quickly, and can detach extremely quickly (DeOliveria et al, 2004).
It is also important to consider that two primary disorders may be possible for a developing child when they are exposed to a trauma: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), where a child is unable to form a healthy emotional bond with a caretaker (Hanson et al, 2000), and Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED), where a child is prone to being more comfortable with a stranger (Harris et al, 2018).
Although insecure attachment is not the ideal within an individual, a more secure attachment could develop over time, and it is done with the right person. One may not recognize that they are struggling with an attachment issue, and it may be challenging for this individual to express their feelings. The establishment of a healthy connection is always beneficial to everyone; it is important to feel comfortable in a social environment.
When one struggles with an insecure attachment, they may seek praise, and subconsciously want to be understood by the people around them. One with an insecure attachment may be deemed as ‘clingy’, but it is key to recognize this individual’s behavior and positively react to it. One should never respond to the way someone acts in a negative manner; always approach with a kind demeanor and room for reassurance and praise.
While many factors are established within early childhood, attachment is one of the leading predictive factors and shapes the behavior of individuals. Everyone lives a different life, and every life is valid. Not everyone has developed a secure attachment.
Insecure attachment could be detrimental to one’s mental health, so it is always best to try to understand the way an individual is feeling. Building resilience could go a long way with one who has developed an insecure attachment style, and being a ‘safety net’ for them is crucial as well.
For self-perspective, putting one’s own wants and needs in front of others is extremely beneficial. As always, one should always be the most important person in their life. Having this shift of a mindset could aim to help develop a more secure attachment, build self-esteem, and overall have a better outlook on life.
Lean on others for support when needed, as well. As humans, we always strive to want to mingle with those around us. Luckily, we all have the ability to do so, and although it may take a few extra steps for some, the proper support could guide us to do so.
References:
Shaver, P., & Hazan, C. (1987). Being lonely, falling in love. Journal of Social Behavior and
Personality, 2(2), 105. Retrieved from
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Campbell, L. and Marshall, T. (2011), Anxious Attachment: An Interactionist Perspective. Acta Anaesthesiol Scand, 79: 1219-1250. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2011.00723.x
Li, T. and Chan, D.K.-S. (2012), How anxious and avoidant attachment affect romantic
relationship quality differently: A meta-analytic review. Eur. J. Soc. Psychol., 42: 406-419. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.1842
DeOliveira, C.A., Bailey, H.N., Moran, G. and Pederson, D.R. (2004), Emotion Socialization as
a Framework for Understanding the Development of Disorganized Attachment. Social Development, 13: 437-467. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9507.2004.00276.
Hanson, R. F., & Spratt, E. G. (2000). Reactive Attachment Disorder: What We Know about the Disorder and Implications for Treatment. Child Maltreatment, 5(2), 137-145.
Katherine L. Guyon-Harris, Kathryn L. Humphreys, Nathan A. Fox, Charles A. Nelson, Charles
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